Due: Posted as a comment on the blog by noon on Monday, 9-28-15
We'll discuss the story and your response to it in class on Tuesday, so you might want to bring a copy of yours to class. You also might want to read other people's responses before class. I know I will.
Read Amy Tan's recollection of her battle of wills with her mother (pp. 370 - 380).
The ending is particularly beautiful, don't you think?
Reflect in a paragraph or two about your own relationship with your family: the control they have over you and the advice they give.
Here are some prompts to help you out. You don't have to answer them all. They are just a way of getting into the topic.
Your family certainly have aspirations for you. Are they your aspirations for yourself? Is it possible that your aspirations might change? How influential is your family in determining those aspirations? Do you foresee any conflict with your family as your aspirations change?
I like the way the editor of LLTM puts the question: "What can it [the story and its ending] teach us about how to learn from our parents without being crushed by their influence?"
I will consider the ending as neither beautiful nor bad. Although Amy finally figured out why her mother forced her to play piano after her mother’s death, it would never be too late to try to learn to understand. But since I have experienced similar experience like Amy’s, I will define the Amy’s story as a “sad story”. From Amy’s story, I could find that she was struggling with her parents-typical Chinese parents-about her piano classes. She didn’t solve the problems and misunderstanding in time before battle started. But it was not her fault. As I mentioned last time, generation gap exists commonly between old generation and new generation.
ReplyDeleteI think I was, am and will still be a willful girl for making my own decision. Like Amy’s parents, my parents used to force me to attend a variety of interest classes outside school since kindergarten, usually without my permission. Better than Amy, I had the interest in some particular fields and their decision didn’t bother me. So I chose to obey their decision until secondary school. I was attending the fencing club in my secondary school not only for being exempt from the PE exam by attending fencing competition but also for my own interest, which took me a lot of time to train. When my grades turned to decrease, my parents force me to stop training and quit the club to spend more time focusing on my study. The competition was approaching and I became the only member in the club who applied for but missed the competition. Other members who attended the club later than me won the prize in the competition. Depression was the only emotion I could feel throughout the final year of my secondary school. Even though I gained full grade in my final PE exam, the absence of the competition becomes the most regretful experience during my secondary school. Since then, I would only take my parents’ advice as consideration instead of taking them directly as my decision.
My answer to the question “how to learn from our parents without being crushed by their influence” should be “try to learn to hear, to communicate with and, to understand parents”.
The joy luck club is one od my all-time favorite books. I love the intertwining stories told by mother and daughter as they struggle to understand the generation the other is from. I like the ending this particular part because it feels to me like a reconciliation with herself and her mother.
ReplyDeleteI think my family always has wanted me to be who I am meant to be- it doesn’t make sense I guess but to put it this way, basically my parents want me to do what’s best for myself personally and they have always supported any dream I had. For instance, I know my mom was upset that I was going so far form home for college but she knew that OWU was the school where I felt like I best fit in and she wanted me to be happy. The only aspirations my parents really had for me was that I grow up to be a kind and generous person as well as the best version of myself that I can possibly be. Their aspirations for myself pretty much match mine. I just want to spend my life helping other people to the best of my ability. I want to continue to learn and grow and develop as person while expanding both y knowledge and my horizons. I don’t really see these aspirations changing because I have known that I have wanted to make positive impacts on as many people’s lives as I possibly can for a good majority of my life. I have always known I wanted to work hard and I always have. I don’t foresee any conflicts with my family if my aspirations changed because I know that as long as I am doing something I love that makes me happy and am continuing to practice good morals and values, my parents wills approve.
After reading Amy Tan's story, "Two Kinds", you cannot really blame either one for the position they stand by. The mother really just wanted the best for her daughter and wanted her to succeed at her full potential. The daughter wanted to be herself and di whatever she liked, even if it disappointed her mother. By saying this I will now talk about the position I'm in. Both of my parents were immigrants, they came here to the United States at a young age for a better life. My dad was able to start his own business here and my mother was able to take care of my two sisters and I. My parents do not know too much of the educational system here, but they always knew an educational path was a good way to follow for success. They have always pushed me the most, not only because I was the male of the family, but because I was always very intelligent. They never told me to follow a certain path or decided what I should be, but they did always push me in my studies. The aspirations I have were fully thought upon by myself. I always liked being at the top so I decided to follow a career in the medical field. Even though this goal is pretty set upon it can always change. Nothing is permanent in life and it is always changing. Many outside influences occur each day and we live off of the experiences that affect us. My parents never have decided what I should be but they both believe I can be whatever I want and that one day I will be someone big. I know that no matter what my parents will be by my side and they are both now working very hard to make sure I stay at OWU. They have never been prouder of me. I was their first child to go to a 4 year university and that itself is an aspiration for them.
ReplyDeleteMy parents never pressured me to do something that went against my will. They always let me know when my decisions disappointed them, but they never forced me into something. Without them telling me though, I could see in their eyes when I had let them down. Studying as well as doing extracurricular activities was always my decision. They were always proud when hearing by teachers that I was performing well in school but they were even more proud when hearing good things about my character around the neighborhood. And trust me; news would fly around really quickly. Raising a child with good manners was always way more important than raising a good student. To be honest, hearing that I got accepted in a university maid them less happy than hearing a guy in a coffee shop talking in a good way about me. To finish with, even though I know I will always be pushed by my father to change soccer team and by my mother to finish my plate, I know that they will always let me do what I decide I want to do. My parents will always be supportive even when they think I take the wrong decisions.
ReplyDeleteI am very lucky to have been blessed with a wonderful mother.She has always allowed me ti follow my dreamss for example letting me act in school plays,playing sports,debating.She has always encouraged me to try out new things and even when she pressurized me to do something I realized very well it is for my benefit.My story is fairly similar to Amy Tans one as bpth our mothets tried to make us into something bog and successful.I believe if Amy had realized that her mother only wanted her to become aomething she could not become or something she did not get a chance to become because of her circumstances,she would have given her best to make her mother happy,to be grateful for what did for her.I always knew how hard my mother worked and she was not very confident because of her educational background.She always encouraged eme to debate and act to to boost my confidence.
ReplyDeleteI believe in her aspirations I would find my success.As far as career is concerned my family just wants me to complete my higher education and become whatever I want as they know I have tto spend my life doing whatever work I wish to do.
I did intact enjoy the ending. I like the transition from being “Pleading Child” to “Perfectly Contented”, showing the protagonists change throughout the story.
ReplyDeleteMy relationship with my family has always been consistent. I was raised by my aunt, though I see my biologicals more often than any other adopted child would, so I cannot complain, but I feel like all of them have influenced me and have had some level of control over me. The aspirations that my Aunt has for me are similar to the ones that I have for myself, “Love what you do, do what makes you happy, find no fault in things you enjoy, and in that order”. My Aunt would always say, “just be successful in whatever you decide to do”, and I wholeheartedly support that. I feel like if I truly enjoy something then you should pursue it. Yes, it is possible that my aspirations my change. My family has a 50:50 weight on helping me determine my aspirations, and helping me fulfill them. No, I don't see any conflict with my family as my aspirations might change.
I have the most amazing grandma I could ever ask for but it took me years to realize this. After having lost both of my parents, I was afraid to let anyone in. It took me 9 years before I realized how much I needed her. If I hadn't struggled in my junior year and she hadn't stayed by my side even though I kept trying to push her away, I probably never would have realized that she was most important, and more importantly, the most constant thing in my life. I told her after I had gone through all that I went through that year that I loved her, and really felt that I meant it for the first time. Before that I had just said it because that's what you say to family but this time I felt it and started to cry. I never felt something so strongly and it shocked me that after I dealt with my issues I could let someone in. I noticed a difference in my relationship with the rest of my family too. I started getting closer to people who I thought I would never be close to again. I even began to notice a change in how I interacted with my friends, some of whom I consider family. Even my relationships with my family members that I already thought were strong became stronger. It was a year of growth and without my grandma, I wouldn't have gotten through it.
ReplyDeleteMy family definitely has a lot of control over me. My aunt and uncles and cousins expect me to be the post child of my family. My sisters expect me to not follow in their footsteps. My grandma expects me to be the perfect, naive, innocent girl that she can shelter from the world. And I in return want to do all of those things just to please them. But I also want to be my own person and live my own life. I do understand where they're coming from but it still bothers me that they try to control my life. They don't understand that I tend to learn from others' experiences, as well as my own, and that I know the kind of life I want to lead.
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ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the story and I could identify with it. My mother has always wanted what is best for me. I would say there was minimal pressure to get a higher education. There was no choice for me because that is what she expected. She always wanted for me to do good in school and I have always just followed her expectation without doubting them. Throughout my life there has been conflicts with my mom regarding my plan for my futures but after all I have the last say. I share them with her for support but if she doesn't agree I still go on. I am very greatful for having such a caring mother who provides me with everything I need. Without her encouragement and even a little pressure I would not be were I am today.
ReplyDeleteReading this passage was weird for me because it was pretty hard to relate to. My parents were very supportive yet never pushed me to do anything. Nonetheless, they did have expectations such as going to college and getting a steady job. Other than that, they basically let me make my own decisions as long as they didn't harm me or others. I chose to pursue tennis and they supported me with everything they could. They never pushed me like a lot of the other parents that I knew. For a while I resented the fact that they didn't push me as much as the other parents but eventually I realized that this was a blessing because I didn't get burned out. For the people whose parents did push them, they seemed to be struggling more with self worth and became very dependent on their parents for everything. I also noticed that they didn't really like what they were doing; they were only doing it for their parents.
ReplyDeleteUseful comment, Meryl. I wish you had been in class to share it. :-)
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